Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Closing

"Hi, How may I help you?"

"Yeah... I'm here to close my account"

As I sat down to wait for the lady to process my request(reminding myself that the next time I go down to singapore I'll need to make a stop at the money changer), I can't help but felt a tinge of sadness. I look around.... wow it's been 5 years since I walked into this UOB bank at Macphearson Road to open my bank account.

Everytime I go down to singapore...my frens, ex-collegues, aunties and cousins alwiz asked me the same question...."Why dun you come back here to find a job?" I'll alwiz say I'll think about it. I dunno. I'm alwiz tempted to go back there to work. But there is something that's alwiz stopping me. Of course I luv earning sing dollars. I miss hanging out with my ex-collegues. I miss eating "Kuey chap". I miss my ex-housemate, Wee Ling. I miss my favourite pub "Brewerks" (they serve one of the best homemade beer in singapore). I miss doing grocery shopping at NTUC. One thing I dun miss.........Singapore. On sunday I met up with one of my fren, Karen who is a malaysian. She was telling me that she's going back to KL for good end of this year. She told me that when she first came down she told herself that she'll stay here for only a few years and then she'll move on becoz she doesn't want to settle down in singapore for the rest of her life. Funny thing is I said the same thing to myself when I first started work in singapore. I nodded and told her I understand how she felt. I guess maybe both of us are the same kind of people. We dun like to rush. We like to take time to smell the roses. The salary is good, the transportation is superb, the food is "quite" healthy, everything is very efficient. But somehow there is alwiz that feeling that there's something missing in your life. I dun think it's becoz I miss my family (those of u who knows my family will know that they are the last people I'll miss in this world!) Maybe I dun like the fast pace life. Maybe I was traumatised by my ex-bosses! Maybe I dun like that the singapore government is alwiz telling us what to do and used the media to brainwash us! hahahahah I dunno... that feeling......it's hard to explain.

Closing my bank account feels like I'm closing a chapter in my life. That's the story of my life in singapore. After walking out of the bank I kind of felt....... free. It's like letting go of something.....finally. I guess that's it. No more thinking of coming back to work unless it's for a freelance job.

1 Comments:

Blogger James Tan Chin Choy said...

I liked this post. I felt a tinge of sadness.. and it didn't help that one of my favourite bands' song, Rilo Kiley's Pictures of Success happened to be playing from my iTunes player. It was a great soundtrack to your story. You should try listening to it online while reading through your own post, or reminiscing about the times you had in Singapore and why you left.

It's almost freaky that there's this whole section of the song where the singer sings "i'm ready to go" over and over again.

Excerpts of lyrics:

...staying home can't be that bad for me
cause i'm not scared
but i'd like some extra spare time
easily earn me big money

i'm a modern girl but i fold in half so easily
when i put myself in the picture of success...

3:12 PM

 

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